Easy that is, to complain about something making us uncomfortable, unsettled, unsatisfied, unpleased, ripping us from our desire for things to be the way we want them to be. It happens so often. You hit your toe with the edge of your bed, and you complain about the bed, not being aware of the fact that the bed has been there for weeks, months, years, decades...and you were the one who stumbled upon it. It's silly. You undercooked your food, or overcooked it, and you complain. It's also silly. Miniscule things like this happen on the daily, however, our nudge towards complaining can surge most prominently in bigger situations. You failed to complete an important task, you are procrastinating because 'x' reason,  you are not agreeing about 'x' topic with someone.

See, the thing about complaining is that it comes from a place of not searching the answer within ourselves, added to the absence of our intent to control our own actions, thoughts and emotions. Complaining comes in when we don't want to accept that we are indeed accountable for everything that happens to us, but most importantly, for how we respond to everything that happens to us.  

It is ought to be mentioned, that reducing partially, or completely our urges to complain about anything, is easier said than done. It is a deeply rooted pattern in every single human being. Nonetheless, it is a knot we must strive to untie during our lifetime. The benefits that come from reducing complaints for more than 0%, can change your daily life, it changed mine!

Complaining all starts with perspective, it is often the case that we have greater tendency towards viewing the glass of water half empty, rather than half full. Everything in the metaphysical part of our lives is about perspective. Once you decide to have an open mind to all things that might occur to you by the art of living, good and bad, you'll be able to reduce complaining.

Well, how are we explicitly able to reduce complaining, we might ask? I've got a couple of answers, that I have applied myself. They are not flashy tips, just realistic tips.

  1. Say something positive about the ocurred right when you begin to feel the negativity flood your veins.
  2. Ask yourself: 'Is this really worth complaining about?' If there is an immediate solution to the problem, stop thinking negatively.
  3. If it hurts or upsets you, make peace with the pain (I belive enduring pain during deep tissue massages is a good analogy). Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, it means that you understand why you're hurting and how to honor your pain by accepting it as part of a process towards an end goal. (Important note: This doesn't fix the problem or trauma you're going through, but it gives you a lighter perspective.)

Not complaining becomes easier over time. You begin to find that, not engaging in negative rants obligates you to engage in internal battles, those of which can be honourable and lead to new discoveries about yourself. This is far from easy, but it is worth making it a recurring habit. I sometimes complain about things, it is natural, I'm not perfect, but the fact that I reduce complaining overall for more than 0%, is already a good step forward!

The art of not complaining brings benefits in all shapes and forms. These 3 are some of the best I have noticed:

  1. Understanding that negative emotions are part of the process: Adopting the habit of not complaining was a significant factor in molding my perspective about negative impacts in life and how I choose to respond to them. Everything isn't as good as it seems, but also, everything is not as bad as it seems. Elements, thoughts, emotions, actions...everything is what it is. This doesn't mean that we shall diminish bad things that happen to us, it is about willingly accepting them, and viewing how to overcome and/or fix the aftermaths that the negative ocurrences bring! It's about perspective.
  2. Adopting a growth mindset vs a fixed mindset: A growth mindset represents the acceptance of the state of a situation, let it be something we are content with or not, and choosing to do better by finding solutions. A growth mindset relies on the accountability of one's choice of response towards a situation, and choosing to respond with purposeful intent. On the other hand, a fixed mindset relies heavily on complaining and choosing to not respond with intentions of finding solutions.
  3. Upgraded problem-solving skills: In the midst of conflicts, instead of wasting time complaining, which inevitably takes you nowhere, you'll notice how you optimize discussing ideas necessary to overcome obstacles. You begin shifting towards critical thinking via accepting accountability right when the conflict occurs, saving yourself time and energy. These two resources are then available to be applied towards finding answers. Use them wisely.

The art of not complaining is overwhelming sometimes. However, in the end, it brings mental peace, as you decided to take accountability of the fact that you decide how to respond to a situation, thus, chose to do it with purposeful intent.

I hope that this article encourages you to reduce complaining by more than 0%. Anything beyond that number, is respectable improvement.

See you next week.

-Aritz.